Two weeks ago, a young teenager entered the program and has since been forcing me to rethink some things. He was sitting outside our designated room, simultaneously listening to music on his Ipod and playing his PSP, and generally looking "gangsta." When I walked past, he looked up and stared at me intently, almost challenging me. However, I greeted him warmly and started chatting about music. Then he showed me a picture stored in is PSP of his baby cousin, saying he was cute because he has fat cheeks. Within a minute or two, he got up, affected a swagger, and entered the room. Assessing the group inside quickly, he sat sullenly hunched over his PSP while the others made small talk. The leader introduced an icebreaker of Two Truths and a Lie. One by one, fourteen year olds came up with their three facts- and what each person shared revealed some basic priorities and perspectives. One listed family and friends, another focused on possessions, my own related to travel. But the previously sullen young man, who introduced himself as Jose, lit up with a big smile and listed three rather outlandish accidents that had occurred in his lifetime. I could tell immediately that this kid was going to make this program more fun, but he was also bringing a strong personality and some brains.
In the course of the next couple of hours, we listened to a presentation on financial responsibility. The woman who was speaking repeatedly mispronounced Jose's name, but he seemed to take it all in stride. When the discussion came around to why people might feel uncomfortable going into a bank, Jose told of how his mother, a single woman who feels self-conscious about speaking English, drags him to the bank to act as translator. He admitted that he finds this to be a major inconvenience, and has made his mother angry by making fun of her pronunciation of English words, but also understands the necessity. Later on, he mentioned that one day he hoped to take out loans for college, because he wanted to design clothing and perhaps own his own business. After the presenter left, the group discussed their dreams for the future and created a visual collage. I was struck by how outlandish the other group members' dreams were, while Jose wanted everything practical and simple: a small house by the beach, a sedan, etc. When asked about it, he simply stated, "I just need enough to keep my business going and take care of my family." He just seemed too "cool" to return to such a program.
And last week it didn't look like he had. I admit I was disappointed, because Jose had brought some humor and added challenge to the group. We were all chatting when he swaggered in again, earbuds ever present. In what seems to be his uniform, Jose was wearing a white T, sagging oversized shorts, clunky shoes, and a backpack. He had a big grin on his face, and immediately began telling us how he'd arrived too early, didn't want to wait around in the lobby, and went outside to "watch some crazy people." I asked him why he got here so early, and he told me he's been bored this summer, and he likes to be able to get away from his 'hood. Later, he'd mention again his need to escape from his friends and his willingness to take an extra trip for that very reason.
The theme for last week was community service, and one of the activities asked for each individual to rate 12 values (ie- equality, respect, generosity, wisdom, etc) then share our rankings by standing in front of numbers taped to the wall. It provided a striking visual representation of our differing values. First, I was impressed with the depth of thought these teens put into their choices. But I was also struck by their ability to articulate and defend their reasons, which made me reconsider several of mine! Jose passionately declared the necessity for both freedom and equality, as these had to be in place before anything else could even be considered. Then he brought up how Obama's election had helped some groups in America, but not necessarily the Hispanic community, and how the nomination of Sotomayer was bringing attention to Latino rights. What followed was a long discussion about race relations in America, and what we envisioned out community to look like in 2019 (And can I just point out here that this is supposed to be a group of "at risk" teenagers???).
Later that afternoon, we were on our way-using public transportation- to a non-profit that provides free supplies to educators. Jose was regaling the group with stories of his "crew." He bragged of crossing the MAX tracks to tag the posts along the freeway ("But that was a long time ago. I don't do that stuff no more. Do you think that was dumb?"), showed us pictures of his girlfriend, and told stories of fights at school. And yet, he stayed with us, never wandering off, and made sure to sit within listening distance. When we arrived and took a tour, Jose couldn't resist touching the supplies, despite numerous requests not to. He'd look at me, grin with an impossibly regretful look, and reach out quickly to "cop a feel" of a bin of erasers or a giant stuffed unicorn. I never even stopped to consider he'd take anything, though; he simply inspired trust. Even as we worked, he'd pretend to resist or complain of being too tired, but always kept up with our sorting and counting. If he was trying to come across as tough or "above it all," he was failing miserably- this kid was likable through and through.
On the way back, Jose pulled a sketch book out of his backpack and asked me if I'd tell him what I thought of his work. I thought I'd humor him, since it seems every kid nowadays dreams of being an artist (or an athlete) one day. But the work he'd done was actually pretty good- some original stylings and very detailed sketches of people. When I told him that I genuinely approved, he seemed almost shy. I asked if he planned to take art classes next year, and he said he'd consider it. He must have already done so- he plans to be a graphic artist or designer- but it felt good to think I'd reinforced the thought. And that was pretty much how that day ended, with Jose saying goodbye and heading off on a different train.
So, I don't know if Jose's coming back next week, but I know that he's already challenged a few opinions and stereotypes I have had in my head, and I hope that he will continue to do so.
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