picking berries

I took my Little Sister, E, to a farm yesterday to pick raspberries. When we arrived, The Lady In Charge was not being the friendliest of women. She speculated that there would be few good berries left, handed over a giant ol' tomato box, and waved her hand in the general direction of the berry patches. And off we went, following a white butterfly...


Now, there's nothing much exciting in this act- we simply picked the berries which looked ripe and sweet. Along the way, we were chatting about the summer, the neighborhood kids (her friends versus those who are loathed and despised- as only children can), random scientific facts she had acquired from TV shows, and what being a Big Kid in the fourth grade will be like. I mentioned that she might not be so bored if she read more books, to which she reacted in vehement disgust. "Ewww! Stephanie, there's a kid in my class who is a nerd, and she reads." Her nose wrinkled in disgust. I thought about how to approach this. I agreed that it is pretty awful when people call us names, and it is human nature to try to avoid those labels. "But do you really think reading is so awful? I mean, you used to read books to me and you were really liked it! Plus, you can read and write in English and Spanish, and I can't do much with Spanish no matter how hard I try!" She continued to discuss how the kids in her class treat the smart kids.

As she spoke, I thought of all the times I have watched this little girl use those brains of hers. She has spent hours at places like OMSI and the Children's Museum figuring out how things work. She becomes a silent observer of everyone around her, calculating just how she will proceed in any new task. She speaks and writes two languages fluently, and translates for her parents regularly. She frequently comes out with amazingly detailed facts about animals, the environment, health... you name it! She is the girl who told me about 45 minutes into picking berries why we needed to stop and get water because our bodies will be harmed if we don't have water. She's ten. She is a smart and observant human being.

And clearly, in that moment, she did not want to concede that she could be so smart, and didn't think she could keep it under wraps if she tried hiding it. I could see that she feared rejection more than anything, and at the age of ten, was at a turning point. Will she give up reading and being smart so she can fit in with the kids in her class? At this point, it's looking like it, and it's breaking my heart.