My entire life

Recently, I was sitting in a job interview (the one I wasn't able to take due to conflicting schedules) as a principal was looking over my resume. She asked me, "I understand that you are going to grad school this fall? What will you be studying?" I told her that I want to be a school counselor, preferably in an elementary school. She nodded her head, looked me in the eye, and said, "Your entire life has built up to that." We talked a little further, but those words resonated. I have thought about them a lot, and they ring true to me. At times, I wonder if anyone else has moved (homes, jobs, cities, etc) as often as I have, and I begin to doubt my adventures. But her words keep reminding me... "Your entire life has built up to [school counseling]." I like to hope that it is true.


Below are excerpts from an essay on what I want to be when I grow up... :)


Growing up, I told everyone I wanted to be a child psychologist; I remember always being fascinated with people. As an Army brat, I moved all over the world, encountering people of every possible level of income, ethnicity, culture, religion, and political ideology. I took for granted that people came in all shapes, sizes, beliefs, and thoughts. After obtaining a teaching degree, I sought out new experiences, new people. I taught at various schools: in London, in South Phoenix, for deaf students, for the homeless, even in rural China. I began to put human faces to the underrepresented groups studied in textbooks.


As a teacher, I spent hours finding activities in which students could express themselves and explore new perspectives. During a unit on Ancient Greece, boys were escorted everywhere by females; the discussion afterward about equality was eye-opening! The crowned Ms. Navajo visited to answer student questions, such as, “Do you still use a bow and arrow?” One student wrote about experiences in Somalian internment camps; others about crossing the Mexican border with coyotes; students wrote poetry about lockdowns and drive-bys. A deaf student shared his experience by showing a Simpsons episode in closed captioning; students exchanged emails with two adults traveling through Africa and Europe; class meetings allowed students to express their frustrations and problem solve together. No matter how often I worked these activities into the curriculum, however, there were countless others who couldn’t find their voice amidst state-mandated test preparation. There was no escaping it: necessary demands of education could not facilitate the expression I sought to release.


So I explored other options. I tried teaching older individuals in a different setting: a bookstore! I was a kids’ expert, training supervisor, and finally manager. While fun, I missed working directly with children, and began working for Big Brothers Big Sisters. Within Portland schools, I interview children, match them with a mentor, then facilitate their relationship. In this process, I have stumbled upon three valuable acts: getting to know each child as a unique individual, being part of a bigger process that facilitates change, and witnessing others with greater resources provide more for said individuals. I have discovered that children open up to me, and share of themselves. I honor and respect their trust. I hear about the little successes, intervene when problems crop up. Most importantly, I have seen school counselors work tirelessly, sometimes with a small group, a call to a community agency, or a gentle pat on the back. And I realized: I want to do that. I want my job to be getting to know children one to one and having the tools on hand to assist them when needed.